A bunch of years ago Melissa Joulwan wrote a post about New Year Resolutions that made so much sense (so why didn’t I adopt it back then?). I printed it out and put it in a binder and never saw it again until a week ago. I knew I was rarely succeeding with resolutions and didn’t understand. Friends occasionally pointed out that I might want to start slower and smaller and I didn’t listen. When I read her post last week I had an aha moment.
She wrote, “No more New Year Resolutions.
“I’m trying something different. What if I don’t set goals but instead, simply behave like the best version of myself?
“Then I would become her.
“The best me eats clean and sleeps well and cleans house and smiles a lot.
“The best version of me knows that she’s not required to eat clean or meditate or get solid sleep. She doesn’t have to pick up after herself, wash dishes, vacuum, dust or scoop the litter box. There is no accounting ledger keeping track of exemplary behavior for a reward later. There is no opportunity to earn a metaphorical gold star but I can reward myself with real heart and star stickers. Just because I love stickers.
“The clean eating and meditation and dusting, the sound sleeping and the blog posting are the reward. They are the thing.
“The best version of me refuses to be measured by some external yardstick.”
And then I wrote, the best version of me happily goes to bed early, wakes up refreshed, eats Wahls Paleo, cleans house, writes and takes photos, meditates every morning, is kind and funny, cooks a lot of good food, and sings out loud. And occasionally dances like no one’s looking.
Then back to Melissa, “Not because I must.
“Because I want to. Because that’s me. The best me.”
Last week I designed a very ambitious routine that would make time for everything. I made an agreement with myself that for one week I will attempt to live with the routine and make notes about what works well and fairly easily, and what needs to be modified. No criticism or judgment, only observation.
The other agreement I made with myself is that I will start small and increase in very tiny increments. I will do two yoga poses twice each morning. After a week I will increase to two yoga poses done three times each morning. I will walk 20 minutes (minimum) a day and after a month increase the time to 25 minutes a day. The physician from whom I stole this suggestion wrote a book about starting very small and he had many stories about his patients who recovered their health after a year or so using his suggestions.
Feel Better in 5: Your Daily Plan to Feel Great for Life, by Dr. Rangan Chatterjee
Thanks Constance. ‘Enjoyed your take (and Mellissa Joulwan’s) on resolutions. I am also trying not to criticize or judge but to look from the outside and observe myself per Eckhart Tolle…The Power of Now. I look forward to reading more of Constance Comment.